Revelation

Okay, so yesterday was a pretty dark day. I consider myself a pretty spiritual person, so doubting my existence stresses me out. I believe in God, so I know that having these crazy thoughts and doubts would personally offend him. He has blessed me with phenomenal friends, family, and life experiences. Yesterday, all I could focus on was the bad. I need to constantly remind myself that there will be tough days, but I should ALWAYS thank and love my God. I hate pitying myself. I did that one too many times in the past and it lost me friendships and part of my life.

So, here I am today, picking myself up off the ground so to speak. Back on the internet searching for jobs, and reading words of wisdom. Today, I stumbled across an interesting read written by Brooke Allen. In the article, he described how to get a job and find your purpose in life.  

According to his article, I seem to be going through an “existential crisis.” After some research, I realized that this is an actual term that people use to describe a period of their lives where we struggle to find our life purpose. This is an actual thing. I am not alone in this. One of things that still remains to be fuzzy, Allen recommends that in order to find one’s life purpose, one must find it in the work they do.

Okay, so not exactly leading me into a field of work… But it is good advice. The constant feeling of being needed is what propels us as humans to be content with our lives. That makes a lot of sense. I am completely confident that whatever work I find for myself I will end up being content. Job searching is a difficult and long process, but the reward seems to payoff in the end. 

Allen also mentioned another good point, in order to think creatively and intellectually, one must practice writing. For me, writing has always been a love/hate relationship. Writing is something that has been a struggle for me to do consistently. Obviously, look at my blog posts. I only have seven (including this one).

How will I find my life purpose? Stay tuned.

BTW if you want to check out the awesome article I read- http://qz.com/192347/to-get-a-job-write-your-story-instead-of-a-resume/

 

“For I know the plans I have you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Unwritten

I have never felt more out of my place. With each passing day, I sometimes wonder what the point of getting out of bed every morning is. It seems like I have fallen into a routine. I get up, go to work, and come home. There’s no element of surprise. There’s no change of scenery. The days that I have off of work, I get up, workout, and then lounge around all day.

At first, landing a retail job was just something to keep me busy while I looked around for other jobs.  Well, really it was to keep my parents off my back while I was studying for the LSATs. That’s right, I considered going to law school. I had convinced myself that attending law school was something I really wanted. I’ve always set my dreams high, but I have a tendency of convincing myself to do something I think I want to do, until I actually commit to it. The commitment is the part where I usually regret making the decision in the first place.

The more I studied for the LSATs, the more I realized that if I chose this path I would lose myself to the next couple years of losing sleep, pulling my hair out, and studying my brains out. It is a commitment. My mom was a lawyer and, ironically enough, constantly tried to persuade me to consider other options and forgo law school. Her responses to anything law school related seemed unsupportive or unresponsive. It was hurtful. Yet, it pushed me to study harder and to work harder. It was like I had something to prove to her, that I could do it.

So when it came to the test day, I went in confidently. It wasn’t until I started filling out applications and writing admission essays when I realized that I didn’t want to commit the next four years to complete studying. I was ready for my life to begin. After studying the last couple months, I was ready to move out of my parents’ house and find my dream job. I also knew that financially, law school wasn’t something I could afford.  I knew that if I wanted to move out soon, then I would have to find a full-time job.

 

Fast forward a couple months, I am still stuck in the same place. I like working at my job now, don’t get me wrong. It’s fun and it’s easy, but it is not enough for me. I want a job with multiple responsibilities. A job that will push me to learn new things. A job that will support me and take me places.  A job that is enough and more. So that’s what I’m working on.